Blog entry by Elizabeth Ayo-Vaughan
So yesterday, as I was speaking to my friend and trying to catch up, I asked him a question of which I should know the answer . This became an issue. I was told I am not a good listener and I have been told this time and time again. I did not deny this because I was very self aware of my poor listening skill. My only problem was finding a remedy to it.
I started work today with that feedback in mind. Me not being a good listener. It was not a good thing. It can actually mar you than make you. I like talking to people and really being interested on what they are doing and their lives but how can I be more interested if I do not know how to listen.
So I started by asking my friend what to do and how to be a good listener. He said
1) Note that it is not about you
2) Do not interrupt
3) Be interested no matter what
Looking at the above, I am not the above some times so I took this and decided to apply immediately.
Coincidental as I started to do my work, I decided to play the recordings of Management communication in the background so that I can listen as I work as exams are around the corner. It turned out to be the listening class and was such a perfect moment. I listened and worked and pondered on why really I am not a good listener. I began to use ABP to identify this. I put my thoughts on my whats app status and my friend called me immediately. We spoke on length about it and how it affects other aspects of life and found remedies to it. I consciously used that conversation to learn listening. I explained why I do not listen and what happens. I identified the issue and found possible ways to correct the issue.
Come 1pm, I had a meeting of which I was already late for, I decided to listen attentively to my customer as she was already complaining about price. It almost felt like a rant. I tried interrupting her but man she really wanted to let it out. Then I thought, I have to listen to her first and I did. I kept quiet and only spoke when she did not speak. It was hard for me but I pulled through . Without expecting it, she thanked me for listening to her and my mood became so much better. Now I really want to find a better cost system for her as this is a grant. It has become personal to me because this customer believes in me.
In all, I learned, Unlearned and Relearned