obehi usifo-ogbebor

I picked a copy of a daily newspaper and on front page was a caption on ''Women married to older men''. At first I found it amusing, but on a second thought, why judge a person on his/her preferred choice. We are quick to do that because we assume a person can only marry an older man or woman out of greed and the desire for his/her wealth, and usually termed them ''Gold Diggers''. For some people in such relationship, it could only end up with more lies and less love on the part of the younger lover, the fear of uncertainty (death or sickness). While all these may indeed a possibility, others have a different reason for this choice.

One may decide to go for an older lover (by the way, whoever said an older person must be someone who has being married in the past) who because of age and experience (being there seen it all) now understand the need to be settled. Such a person most likely will have better dedication to marriage, than a young one. Who is still experimenting, even with his or her marriage.

Most people who enter into the covenant of marriage always hope to remain in it. With this in mind, the choice of settling for any one should answer the question; am I sure with this man or woman I can endure the hardship of marriage and fulfill my vow of ''till death do us part'' (According to the Christian rites at marriage), Are we both ready to be married with the knowledge of what marriage fully entails, Is the other party just like I am, ready to be devoted to the sacred duties and obligations that comes with marriage? For some it is the razzmatazz of marriage, for others their '' biological clock'', or even the pressure from family and friends that informs their decision.

For marriage to be worth your while, make a choice of what works for you and what will actually help you stay in it. If the choice of settling for an older lover helps you accomplish that, then so be it. Who cares what the world thinks. None of those raising their brows will help you leave through a difficult marriage, so do what you are almost certain works for you.