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And we are back for the last time on today’s episode of Relationship Talk with Duke on the most interesting dial on your radio, Power 106.1 FM. You’ve been listening to tunes from DJ Skepta!!! A militant on the wheels of steel. We have been talking about John and here is my trademark monologue:
“Hi John, I cannot begin to imagine how much confusion you are going through right now. Your situation is not something I want to be in because it is easier to dish out advice when you are on the outside, looking in. However, you asked for my help and I will offer my best. First things first, you need to find out what exactly transpired between them. Ask your mother and your fiancé individually and together as a group. You must collate the information as unbiasedly as possible, using your knowledge of both of them in deciphering what is true and untrue.
Next, you should have a talk with your mother first. As the woman that birthed you, the bond between you is very strong. I am sure that you would rather not embark on this journey without her. I am equally sure that she would prefer to be in your life as you take the next step with your fiancé. Therefore, explain to her that your wife is an extension of your person. Therefore, let her understand that it is not acceptable for her to hit your woman no matter the provocation. Remind her that she will not be happy if your sister’s mother-in-law slaps her and so, she should apply the same energy. Let her understand that she needs to apologize to your fiancé and start showing her the same love that she would show her daughter because she is here to stay.
Afterwards, meet with your girlfriend and apologize to her. Tell her that you are sorry for not giving her an opportunity to state her case and going forward, you will give her the benefit of doubt in all situations. Remind her that you love her and you will always have her back. Then, let her know in clear terms that it is unacceptable behavior to engage in any form of domestic violence. She was wrong to retaliate and should have come to meet you instead to let you handle it. Promise her that there will be no future occurrence but should something similar occur with a family member or even an outsider, you would greatly appreciate it if she calls your attention to it first before anything.
The final task is to bring both of them together and recap the individual conversations you had with them. Stress the importance of love, tolerance and mutual respect in your relationships and demand that both of them imbibe it in their communication. Ask your mother to apologize to her and ask your fiancé to apologize in return. At this point, you can only pray that your efforts were sufficient to calm tensions and the love that both of them have for you will enable them to move past the issue and genuinely become like mother and daughter. I wish you all the best, man. Shalom.”
And that is all for today folks. Special thanks to John for sharing his story with us and for you lovely listeners for your amazing and spot on contributions. I am only one tiny piece of this puzzle – you guys complete me. On that note, I bid you farewell until next week when we have another episode of your favourite show. Remember, an ant that celebrates is called a CelebrANT.
Fortunately for Aku’s virginity, that relationship did not last. She found out he had a girlfriend in another hostel and so she let him go. It hurt but not for long too many fishes in the river.
A few months later she met her third boyfriend. This one was even more mature. He was a Banker and was doing a Master degree in the same university as Aku. He was cute and single but also very haughty. He treated her like an immature child. He would constantly talk down at Aku and she did not like it. She could not shake off the ‘small’ feeling she had whenever she was around him .He treated her like she should feel privileged to be in the relationship with him. So it was not surprising that Aku was not eager to try out her newly acquired kissing skill with him. She walked away from the relationship after only 2 months.
Having learnt from her experience with Mr. Masters. Aku concentrated on first degree boys. She dated another guy who was in year 2. His name was Orheva he had a shy smile and very cute lips. They met at a beach party organized by school friends. He took her room number and promised to visit. He did! Akus’s roommates liked him immediately. When he visited Aku in her room , he brought along chicken and chips and would chat and tease each one of her roommates. They looked forward to his visits. Aku wished she could get alone time with him. She was eager to try out her new kissing prowess. Orheva was in no such hurry. They shared their first kiss 1 month into the relationship. He was a fairly good kisser but she did not like the fact that he constantly reached out to touch her breast. She was getting weary of hitting his hands off.
Little wonder you read and hear stories of slay mamas stealing IPhones from phone shops or from unsuspecting good Samaritans who may be of the impression that they are rendering help to beautiful hitchhikers in distress. Some stories are even more disgusting to read let alone watch as there are several videos and images that have recently surfaced online. It has been alleged that some of the sources of these Nollywood divas income has been linked to Arab princes in the UAE. Last week stories flooded twitter and Instagram timelines of why frequent trips are made to Dubai by these slay goddesses. The things they do and acts they indulge in, will not be described in this blog for the sake of discretion, but for what it is that they do, I hear that they cart away with about $30,000 to $50,000 per transaction, this is estimated at N10,800,000 to N18,000,000. The more transactional requests you oblige, the more the weight of your gift bag.
Like I earlier mentioned, the men are not left out, they too are creating a lot of pressure for the “young boys them” as we now have different cadre of 419ners. There are the yahoo boys, the yahoo plus and the yahoo plus plus. There is also pilfering of ladies used underclothing especially the panties, this has become a major trend with the young men and there have been various memes and comic videos which have come out to applaud the benefits of these acts.
I cannot imagine what direction the youths of tomorrow are headed and I am not sure what to make of how this moving train can be salvaged from a train wreck. I just wish for some sort of sanity in the industry as the actions of these supposed role models have a negative ripple effect on our youth of today. Who do we look up to help curb this insanity? Where do we go from here and how can we clean up this mess? We need a superhero, but those are fictional character. Again we all can lend a hand and be a hero to the next teenager out there, it could be your daughter, son, niece or nephew. What are we teaching them, what are they doing, right or wrong that we are overlooking? Whatever change is required will have to start from you and me. We need to rise up to the occasion.
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That was a lot. I feel for you, Mustapha. And I hope that you and your mother smooth things over. DJ Skepta, that was intense, wasn’t it? I see you shaking your head vigorously like you can’t deal. It is well bro. Keep those contributions coming, folks. We are here for you. Let’s go back to Instagram and see what our dear Instagrammers are saying.
Okay, here’s a very long message from @daisystacy: “Hmmm, this is a serious issue Duke. First things first, as the guy, the curious cat in me will want to know exactly what transpired. It is wrong to even pass judgment on either party without hearing the full facts of the case. In law, there’s a Latin phrase, ‘audi alteram partem’ – which means ‘hear the other side’. This guides judges and magistrates when making judgments on all matters brought before them. It is possible that the girlfriend is the wicked witch of the west who has no respect for her elders and does not regard her boyfriend’s family. It is also very possible that his mother fits the description and got what was coming to her because the poor girl was trying to defend herself. Either way you look at it, it is imperative that both sides are given an opportunity to narrate what happened to enable him to get the true and complete facts of the matter. The next step is for the boyfriend to set both his mother and girlfriend straight. While he needs to chastise his girlfriend for hitting his mother, he must also chastise his mother for hitting his girlfriend. The same respect that she gives him should be extended to his better half. Lastly, how he handles this matter will have long-ranging consequences for the future of the relationship between his girlfriend and her future mother-in-law and as such, wisdom must be applied. I wish him the best. Love your show, Duke. You are the man.”
That was a long one, @daisystacy. We thank you for your contribution. That’s actually close to my planned monologue. Did you by any chance spy my notes? Did you? Did you? Okay folks. I wish we could take all your contributions but I am afraid that we are nearing the end of the show. As I promised, I will share my personal advice to John for his benefit and that of my listeners. Let’s go for a music break and we will be right back. DJ Skepta has been itching to play a sick song for you guys that he stumbled on last night. This is Jealous by Fireboy DML. Take it away, Skepta.
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I am writing this with mixed feelings.
The last born of my ‘first generation of children’ is going to a faraway, and rather unsafe, territory.
My baby sister was about 6 years old when mother passed; so, I practically raised her. Immediately I gained some level of financial independence, she became my primary project. I watched her grow from that tiny naughty child, to an intelligent and hardworking young woman.
The National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) year for my two other first-generation children was very easy for me, they served under my nose and I did not have to worry much for their safety. However, Aanu is different, she has always wanted to explore; and like many last-born children that I have seen, this child has decided to be a deviation from the norm, not allowing anyone to try and influence her NYSC posting.
You can therefore imagine my concern when this child’s NYSC posting came out, and alas, she was posted to Adamawa state in North/Eastern Nigeria. I myself loved the north as a younger person. I still love the accommodating and open spirit of our northern brothers. I love to travel the mass of land and see how it evolves. I love some of the food and their dressing. The insurgence in Northern Nigeria, and the inability of the government to bring a decisive end to the ethnic and religious insurgency has however made me rather wary of the North. In recent times Adamawa has been experiencing insurgency attacks, especially in Michika, following the recently concluded Presidential election.
I am not sure how people have coped with children going away to serve in faraway lands. While I am excited that service year is finally here for her, I am also worried at the idea of leaving this child alone in a faraway land.
This is a new experience for me!
So a most recent scenario is of a C-list South-South based actress who gifted her mother with a mansion and then 2 weeks later acquired a second Mercedes Benz vehicle. While some might argue that she is an A-list actress in her geo-political zone, or that she is a young, talented, upcoming star, others might be of the opinion that her mother, a delta state “veteran actress” one in whom I barely recognise (even though I do not have ardent knowledge of the “who is who” in the south-south Nollywood industry), is the president of the Actors Guild, Delta state chapter and has thus been a major influence in her daughters rising career. Whether all of these reasons are true, I still cannot fathom how an actress,18 years of age, who from granting some interviews expressed how she earns at least N500,000 per movie, can afford such an expensive lifestyle. Perhaps she might be our very own Kylie Jenner, billionairess in the making, who unknown to the rest of us is brewing something that smells nice in the kitchen *winks*.
Anyways, I did a
little digging and I discovered that she was appointed by the Atiku
presidential campaign as the youth coordinator for the PDP presidential aspirant.
Maybe the payment for a job well done, from this temporal appointment could be
ascribed as the source of her latest acquisitions which recently includes a
N3.3m Rolex wrist watch. This 18year old is seriously making heads role and is definitely
loving the attention. She is also giving her elders a run for their money as
they are all desperately wanting to know how on earth she has come to ascend
the throne of slay queens. This young lady is putting a lot of her senior colleagues
under pressure as very soon, social media will be flooded with new posts of
latest acquisitions and travels.
If our dear Nollywood angels are not living la Vida loca by touring different cities, taking photos of themselves en-route these destinations whilst sipping champagne in the airplanes in theirs or temporarily acclaimed business class seats, or fronting their new bodies where body fat has been transferred from their midsections to their hips and breast regions or in some cases silicone implants, showing these off by wearing tight fitting designer clothings and accessories with shoes and bags be it fake or in some rare cases the actual designer item. The pressure is just too much and I worry for the impact these women have on our young girls, especially ones with low self-esteem. These young ones will grow up thinking and wishing for the fast life and doing the most unbearable and unthinkable things to achieve this all just to show off on social media.
...continued
More reviews of some interesting quotes on capitalism and socio-economics, from around the internet:
"Critics of consumer capitalism like to think that consumers are manipulated and controlled by those who seek to sell them things, but for the most part it's the other way around: companies must make what consumers want and deliver it at the lowest possible price." - James Surowiecki
"Crony capitalism is essentially a condition in which... public officials are giving favours to people in the private sector in payment of political favours. Every economy exists, no matter what the level of democracy, has elements of crony capitalism. It's - given human nature and given the democratic structures, which we all, I assume, adhere to, that is an inevitable consequence." - Alan Greenspan
"If you are in Brazil and you grew up in a right-wing dictatorship, you think Marxism is liberating. But if you grew up in Czechoslovakia, and the Soviet Union is controlling everything and killing people, then you think capitalism is liberating. Neither of those two things are true and it doesn't take a lot brains to understand this." - Jose Padilha
"Here's what I don't think works: An economic system that was founded in the 16th century and another that was founded in the 19th century. I'm tired of this discussion of capitalism and socialism; we live in the 21st century; we need an economic system that has democracy as its underpinnings and an ethical code." - Michael Moore
"History suggests that capitalism is a necessary condition for political freedom. Clearly, it is not a sufficient condition." - Milton Friedman
"You can talk about capitalism and communism and all that sort of thing, but the important thing is the struggle everybody is engaged in to get better living conditions, and they are not interested too much in government." - Bernard Baruch
Because your wife is a homebody in slippers
and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil, you may fall for a fresh-smelling
young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer,
high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt or because your husband is the quiet
type, your heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who
has the makings of a talk show host. But wait! That's only 20% of what you
don't have.
Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!
That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% is the 100% that represents all the
years that you have been with each other. The storms you have weathered
together, the unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple, the many
adjustments you have made to love the other, and the wealth of memories that
you've accumulated as lovers.
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. But
faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
But I'm not just talking about marriage. I'm talking about life; about your
jobs, about your friends, about your children and about your lifestyles. Are
you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door
of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got
more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats
recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"
I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like
that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there
are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class because they
are not riding in a private Lear Jet? The main message is???
If you start appreciating what you have right now, wherever you are, you are
first class!
Temitayo Afolabi EMBA24
… (Continued)
To gain perspective on the different facets of capitalism and other socio-economic systems such as socialism, etc. Let us review some of the most illuminating quotes on this subject from around the internet:
“Socialism states that you owe me something simply because I exist. Capitalism, by contrast, results in a sort of reality-forced altruism: I may not want to help you, I may dislike you, but if I don't give you a product or service you want, I will starve. Voluntary exchange is more moral than forced redistribution.” - Ben Shapiro
“The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.” - Winston Churchill
“The story of Detroit's bankruptcy was simple enough: Allow capitalism to grow the city, campaign against income inequality, tax the job creators until they flee, increase government spending in order to boost employment, promise generous pension plans to keep people voting for failure. Rinse, wash and repeat.” - Ben Shapiro
“Capitalism has its weaknesses. But it is capitalism that ended the stranglehold of the hereditary aristocracies, raised the standard of living for most of the world and enabled the emancipation of women.” – Camille Paglia “America’s abundance was created not by public sacrifices to ‘the common good,’ but by the productive genius of free men who pursued their own personal interests and the making of their own private fortunes. They did not starve the people to pay for America’s industrialization. They gave the people better jobs, higher wages and cheaper goods with every new machine they invented, with every scientific discovery or technological advance—and thus the whole country was moving forward and profiting, not suffering, every step of the way.” - Ayn Rand
“Well first of all, tell me: Is there some society you know that doesn’t run on greed? You think Russia doesn’t run on greed? You think China doesn’t run on greed? What is greed? Of course, none of us are greedy, it’s only the other fellow who’s greedy. The world runs on individuals pursuing their separate interests. The great achievements of civilization have not come from government bureaus. Einstein didn’t construct his theory under order from a bureaucrat. Henry Ford didn’t revolutionize the automobile industry that way. In the only cases in which the masses have escaped from the kind of grinding poverty you’re talking about, the only cases in recorded history, are where they have had capitalism and largely free trade. If you want to know where the masses are worse off, worst off, it’s exactly in the kinds of societies that depart from that. So that the record of history is absolutely crystal clear, that there is no alternative way so far discovered of improving the lot of the ordinary people that can hold a candle to the productive activities that are unleashed by the free-enterprise system.” - Milton Friedman
... To be continued